A year ago today-Our birth story

8am Kevin was on his second day of vacation from teaching and as usual he woke up super early and was milling around the house doing his morning workout and making coffee. I woke up to use the restroom fully planning to return to bed for another snooze. As I finished my business and was pulling up my warm sweats I felt water dribble down my leg, I thought I was peeing myself so I quickly sat back down, amused that the weight of a full term baby on my bladder had finally gotten to me, but once I wiped I saw the pink watery color that all my books said would be a sign of my water breaking, Holy crap, I was in the beginning stages of labor!!! I didn’t really believe it…still I yelled to Kevin who was sipping his coffee and reading his daily online bicycle digs. Kevin was so on it and more ready than I was…he passed me the phone once the nurse was on and I told her about the water down my leg and the pink toilet paper, I also told her I was still two weeks from my due date so it was probably just a little leak and I didn’t think my water had broken, just a leak…she advised we come in immediately to be assessed. So we grabbed a few things but not everything we needed should it be the real deal because once again I didn’t think it was, hadn’t Vanessa my BFF gone to the doctors 3 times thinking she was in labor, surely I should be allowed one false alarm!

9:30 It took us nearly an hour to leave the house following my little trip to the bathroom, we took our time leaving, I think I even brushed my hair. I wasn’t freaking out yet, no pain, no nothing! Once we got to UCSD Kevin dropped me off by the valet service while he parked the car. I wobbled my way up to labor and delivery where the lady at the front desk got all my info and told me to take a seat while she let a nurse know, Kevin joined me at this point, so we sat holding hands in the waiting room, I looked over at him and said to him what I had been saying for months, “I can’t wait to meet our baby”… he had this expression that I can’t really name, to this day I don’t know if he thought this was the day we’d be meeting our baby or not. To the right of us were the check up rooms which is were I thought we were going and down the hall through the automatic double doors were the labor rooms (I know this from the tour we took months earlier) they took us through the double doors and into our “suite” where all the stuff was for the real deal baby delivery, the nurse told us that this was where our baby would be born. At this point I was still hesitant to lay in the bed since I was still pretty sure it was not the real deal, and from previous experience I knew they would charge us for just breathing in the delivery room but I figured that for the time being it was best to play along just to make for sure for sure.

11:00 Starving prego lady! Anyone that ate a meal with me, especially in the last trimester will confirm that I put away food like an obese man. Red meat? Yes, please! I broke my veggie lifestyle of over 15 years not only because I was extremely iron deficient throughout my pregnancy but also because I craved meat like crazy. So, once the nurse came in I asked if I could eat. She said she thought the answer would be no but she'd ask anyway, Sadly, the answer came back "no"! Bummer! But I persisted, so she persisted for me by asking the right doctor who said I could since I was only in the beginning stages and it would still be a while, at this point nobody had confirmed that my water had indeed broken so as far as I was concerned, I was just relaxing in this sweet remote control bed awaiting my lunch! Lunch arrived, delicious chicken and veggies, Kevin missed picking at my food since he had run back home to grab the camcorder and the laptop and his own personal bag.

11:15 first trip to the restroom following the last eventful trip back at the apartment. More pink water, much more this time. MY WATER HAD BROKEN. I began to think that I shouldn’t have had all that food, after all, one of my pushing goals was to ONLY push out a baby.

11:45 the medical team arrived…and it’s a team! “Can 5 people watch as the doctor checks if my water has indeed broken, indicating the start of labor?” the resident doctor asked. "Yes," I answered, Why not, I’m having the whole Bautista/Killacky clan watch as I labor so a few more doctors-in-the-making can too. The doctor confirmed that my water had indeed broken and that our baby was on its way! YAY!


12:15 My first set of nurses made their way in. One is on her first week at UCSD. "Yay, a new nurse," I scream in my head. They tell me I’ll be getting Pectocin in small doses until I reach 16mg at which point a doctor will come in to check how much I’ve dilated and prescribe more if necessary. "How long could that take," I asked. Response, 4 hours. The pain is nonexistent before Pectocin. In fact, I didn’t even feel the contractions, I only knew that I was having them because the device on my belly was sending the info over to the printer which was kind enough to print it all out, I also had another device on my belly, this one was rad. It was a loud speaker for my baby’s heartbeat…how I wish I had owned one of these nifty devices throughout my pregnancy for the nights when the baby wasn’t moving and my unguarded mind conjured up horrible scenarios. Every nurse that walked in from this point forward turned the heartbeat volume down. I rolled my eyes and asked politely to have it turned back up. "It's so loud," they would tell me. “I like it,” I would reply.

2:45pm I started to feel the contractions, they hurt a little but I laugh through them. It’s not funny but it’s the only thing I know how to do once one hits. They last 10 seconds or so and occur every ten minutes. I started to wonder why Kevin and I hadn’t gone to Lamaze classes, oh yeah, because Jenny McCarthy said she didn’t in Belly Laughs.

4pm A new medical team comes in; more people are in this team. Seriously? I’m in pain, she says she has to check my cervix to see how much I’ve dilated… “Please wait for the contraction to pass,” I beg, she obliges.
Only 1 cm, wow, I’m informed that it’s going to be a long night and that the baby will probably be arriving tomorrow. More Petocin is prescribed…

6pm I HATE PETOCIN---who made this drug—the devil---what---contractions hurt—can’t think—only cry—why are we having this baby—can it stay inside—think clear—get it together----Can’t –hurts-so-much. Please god make it stop—only child- I hate Kevin-I have visitors-why-oh they want to be supportive-please leave-I want to scream-are you sure this isn’t an exorcism they are thinking—

8:10pm People are coming and going. My family comes and hangs out. My dad only comes in for a few minutes and decides that he can’t see me screaming like that, and he leaves after a few kisses and kind words. Zenia and my mom hang out for a little longer, Zenia says she’s staying all night, and sits on the floor. I can see her worried expression. I love her; she’s playing music on her phone, and texting her friends with swift fingers. I hope she’s saying things like my sister looks great, she’s taking labor like a champ (I’m not) Zenia is totally on board with the “ no drugs plan” and as the hours pass on and the pain intensifies she is my strong soldier who encourages me to stay strong—I can do it, she assures me. Can I? I think of my friends, Melody- no drugs-but labor lasted 4 hours total- I was there all 4, recorded it for her! Ashley- no drugs- I don’t know how she did it. Paola- no drugs for second baby-she was too late, she begged for them, too late they told her, the baby is on her way. Still, I’m so proud of myself. At this point, I had been in painful labor for about 6 hours. If I’ve made it this far, then why ask for pain meds? It must be close to pushing time. I assured myself. I am so wrong.

10:30pm Kevin and Zenia are watching my contraction chart with unblinking eyes. They both excitedly declare that that was a big one. I want to scream at them to stop. I know-I’m having them. I really, really can’t take it anymore, I grab the rails on the bed at every contraction, I don’t know what to do with the pain, I scream, I cry, I breath like a hyperventilating mad woman. My mom tries to lead me in slow breathing, my sister Paola at some point arrives and breaths with me at every contraction. It works, but it doesn’t, the pain is no less, but I begin to gain a little more control.

10:45pm I ask the nurse if it’s possible I’m getting near pushing time, The pain is the most intense it’s been, I’m positive its getting close. Yet a new team of doctors comes in, a super young girl who is probably a resident physician even though her badge clearly states doctor, checks my cervix after the contraction has passed and the pain is so severe that the check up lasts 5 seconds at most. The doc announces I am 8 cm and pushing starts at 10. Oh I knew it I just knew it, Kevin and I are ecstatic, all that pain meant something, we were making progress in the dilating department, we call our family members that are not yet there and tell them they better come soon, in fact come now or they’ll miss the delivery! The baby is arriving sooner than expected!

11:05pm The first doctor, and her team, come in to double check that I am, in fact, 8 cm dilated. I'm not. Not only is the check up the most painful yet, the news is devastating, Kevin and I lock eyes the moment she’s says I’m really only 2 cm…something about the ridges in my uterus…confused the previous doctor. Not really 8 cm. She’s very sorry. Words just words. My head is spinning. Another contraction starts. I’m crying out of pain, and also out of pure disappointment. Our hopes had been lifted so high; the baby was coming. We’d be able to hold him or her very soon, the pain would be over, and now 2cm. Six hours had passed and I had only progressed one cm. Devastation.

12am I balled my eyes out, and then my heaven sent younger oh so wise sister, says to me “Oh honey, just get the epidural” I can’t possibly convey the sweetness in her voice, the sincerity that only a mother who has had a baby with an epidural can possibly convey…Paola and I don’t have a sweet relationship like that, we fight, we argue, we diss each other, I wasn’t very nice to either twin sister growing up. But I may just remember the recommendation of the epidural in her sweet voice and forget all the mean stuff for the rest of my life…I love her btw, that’s just the way we get along!

1:30am So I had one, I had an epidural and let me tell you, I don’t regret it for a second! I experienced the pain of labor and then the sweet, sweet warmth of the drugs going through my body and taking away every ounce of pain I had been feeling for the past 6 hours, all that, just gone, with one little needle (that’s a lie, it was big) and an IV bag that delivered the meds for the next 14 hours. But let me backtrack a tad—the nurse recommended that I ask for the attending doctor and not the resident doctor to administer the epidural, genius idea I thought, I’ll do that. When the resident came in I politely asked for the attending, he gave me a smirk. Everyone knows a person or two who had the epidural administered incorrectly/had to have the needle reinserted/etc etc, I did not want to be that story, I wanted it done by the pro, the “real doctor." So the real doctor came in and she let me have it… didn’t I know? This was a learning hospital…the resident was as good as she was. In fact, he administered more epidurals that she did in a day…She would not budge even upon my insisting…I even questioned her ability…She finally came back about 40 minutes later and humbly informed me that she would be administering the epidural because the resident had at this point started working on another patient…lucky me. So she inserted the needle. I sobbed my way through contraction after contraction, Kevin and a nurse held me in a nonmoving sitting position while the “real doctor” inserted and reinserted the needle…I have scoliosis. I hadn’t thought about it since middle school, when the school nurse informed me I had it. Apparently it made it more complicated to find the spot. Finally, the resident doctor, the one I had shunned, came in and helped the doctor insert my epidural. Oh praise everything anybody believes holy, the pain was gone, modern medicine, ahhhh-mahy-zing!

1:45am I vaguely remember my mother and sisters walking in, touching my feet, telling me they loved me, they’d see me in the morning, sleep well…and then I was out.


5am I slept for 4 hours straight and only woke up when the parade of nurses started coming in and out of my hospital room. Kevin of course had been awake for a while and was happily blogging. I felt great, no pain, surprisingly rested, and ready for day two of labor.

The doctor came in and informed us I was at 6cm and progressing quickly at this point, we were hesitant to call our families since we had false alarmed them the night before but decided we would rather they be here early than miss it. So we called and texted our sisters and mothers to arrive as soon as possible.

10:48am The whole gang assembled in the delivery room and I’m dilated 8cm, two shy of push time.


Kevin and I had discussed whether we wanted to invite our families to be present or keep it just the two of us. I was present for the birth of both my nephew and niece and thought it was the coolest most emotional event I had ever experienced and I really wanted all of our baby’s loved ones to witness that first gasp for air, the beginning of our sweet baby’s life. I’m so happy we did it that way, I don’t want to even imagine how things might have turned out if we hadn’t had our amazing cheerleading families rooting at every push and clapping and hooting up a storm at the end of the 10 count push.

11:00am The last 2 cm came in a hurry and before we knew it there was a new doctor, Dr. Ballas, 4 resident doctors, and a flurry of nurses bringing the total of people in the room to 14-16! It was a party! I could feel the contractions coming every minute or so, the epidural was still working for the most part… however I could feel the contractions in my lower back and as the pushing phase began the pain became intense. Between pushes Kevin and one of the nurses massaged my back relieving some of the pain. It was amazing how intense the pain in my back was during a contraction and subsequent pushing only to be completely relieved of the pain for the following minute before the next contraction began.

11:30am 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1…Kevin was assigned the job of controlling, with a steady count, my pushing/breathing during contractions. He was awesome at this, keeping a steady pace, while holding me tightly.


He had been undecided as to whether he wanted to look down there or keep by my head but just weeks before he had spoken to my friend Lucy’s older brother who was ecstatic about witnessing the birth of all three of his daughters. Also, I wanted Kevin to be the one to announce the gender of our mystery baby so I was thrilled that he wasn’t one of those guys who didn’t want to be grossed out! He was so involved and didn’t want to miss a thing, which I couldn’t have been more thankful for.

12:00pm At this point I had been pushing for about an hour, gone was the hope that I’d push three times and out would come the baby, I had seen this happen twice and prayed I’d be one of those lucky ladies, not the case.

The Doc was awesome though, he was so positive and charismatic, he had nothing but great advice and kind words, which were so helpful in those moments where I wanted to give up. We were especially thankful for his kindness after the previous nights epidural experience.


1pm I’d been pushing for 2 hours and all the good doc could see was a head full of hair, he let us know that the baby was coming with its head slightly tilted which was making the delivery more difficult for me. At this point I’ve tried pushing on my side, back, with a pole for support, a pillow, you name it, we’ve tried it! Nothing seemed to be working. I was SOOOOO tired, and if it weren’t for all the loving support I’m positive I would have given up at this point.

1:20pm there is talk of a c-section. Three hours of pushing is the max before wheeling a mom off for a cesarean. I’m so afraid. I’m a mess; I don’t want to push anymore. I’ve been pushing for two and a half hours, I’m sweaty, and I’ve cried my eyes out. I’m desperate to see our baby, and I’m starving again!

My sweet sister Zenia calls my dad to give him my pizza order. Yes, between contractions I ordered two large pizzas from Bronx, one pesto, one eggplant with bell pepper! That’s just how I roll!



1:30pm Dr. Ballas says we’re getting somewhere now, the baby is crowning, he can see a large part of the top of the babies head. Kevin peeks too. He is speechless. The doc helps with his fingers but says I have to do it all myself, something about the position that the baby is coming at. Three more doctors arrive. They are pediatricians. My baby will be suctioned on the next contraction. We ask if it’s safe, he assures us it is only after he tells us of the bad things that COULD happen to the baby. We trust the doctor and give him the go ahead. A mirror is brought in to show me the babies head, this too gives me an even greater desire to push with all my might.

1:40pm the room is going nuts, I can see flashes, people sobbing, some cheering, lots of eyes looking as the doctor tells me that this is THE push. I give it ALL I got, I push as hard as I can and for the first time I don’t give a crap if I take one on the delivery bed! Thankfully I didn’t, as this was one of my biggest fears going in.

1:42pm OUR BABY IS BORN! Kevin has a moment of spellbinding hesitation before he announces that our little one is a girl. A sweet baby girl weighing 5 pounds 15 ounces! She’s perfect, she stares at everyone in the room and for the first 8 hours of her new life outside the womb she is wide-awake taking in all her surroundings! I can’t wait to hold her and tell her that I love her forever but all I get to do is watch as everyone surrounds her with camcorders and cameras as she is cleaned, suctioned and umbilical chord cut by one very happy and proud daddy.




1:47pm At last I get to hold Valentina in my arms, she is tiny and she stares back at me with her puffy brown eyes. I love her. I’ve heard stories of mommies who do not instantly feel love for their babies, but fortunately I could not have been more in love with her!